Vision Quest

MY VISION QUEST 1997  by Sandy Penny

Connie dropped me off at the Native American Vision Quest land near Crestone, Colorado in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains. I checked my canvas bag, two bottles of water, a blanket, a small native drum with a feathered drum beater, a candle, a sage smudge stick, and a box of matches. That's it. I would spend the night at the medicine wheel in the middle of the high desert by myself. Not many people knew about this place. Small tracts of land around Crestone had been donated to all kinds of spiritual groups. As she drove off, I had a twinge of fear, out here in the middle of nowhere, alone, what was I thinking? And then I quieted my mind and aligned with the reason I wanted to do this. I wanted clear space, nature and aloneness to open myself to my true purpose and to receive information on what's next for me. After the amazing trip to New Zealand, it was difficult to settle back into my life in Houston. As much as I wanted to have my kids back in my home, I didn't have a home right now, or a way to support them. I needed some clarity.

Still daylight, but with dusk approaching, I walked down the path to the sacred circle. Laid out like a Medicine Wheel with rocks marking 12 points on the circle, a metal placque on a stone at the entrance said Circle of Love. Around the outside of the circle were four stone domes, one for each element and dedicated to a purpose that suited the element: Earth for Healing, Wind for Communication, Fire for Transformation, Water for Emotional Release. I chose Wind for Communication. I had been working with the wind in NZ and on Norfolk Island, and it was a powerful experience.

The stone domes were stacked structures with no mortar holding them together. They resembled igloos and had a little crawl space entrance. Once inside they were big enough to stretch out and lie down on a packed dirt floor cleared of pebbles and raked smooth. The communication dome had a hole in the top where you could see the stars at night. After choosing my dome and spreading my blanket and putting my bag inside, I lit the smudge stick and waved it around, omming and singing Love and I are one, Love and I are one, we're one, we're one, we're one, we're one, Love and I are one, then going through other things I am one with, like earth, people, until I felt complete.

I returned to the Circle of Love. Walking into it and circling around it, smudging it with the sage. I stopped at each of the four directions, beginning in the east where the sun rises, I acknowledged my intentions in coming here. East, south, west, north. To align with my ancestors, to call in my spirit guides and teachers, and to listen to the wisdom beyond my small self, to align with my highest and best future. I called in my ancestors who love me, and acknowledged and thanked all the four direction meanings: Colors of Humanity: Red, Yellow, Black and White. Stages of life: birth, youth, adult (or elder), death. Seasons of the year: spring, summer, fall and winter. Aspects of life: spiritual, emotional, intellectual, physical. Elements of nature: fire (or sun), air, water, and earth. Animals: Coyote, Eagle, Wolf, Bear and many others. Ceremonial plants: tobacco, sweet grass, sage, cedar. After making the full circle, I sat and meditated on the South stone until it began to get dark.

I exited the circle and crawled into my dome. I stuck the smudge stick into the ground so it could continue burning, lit my candle, drank some water and picked up my drum. I began drumming and chanting, inspired with Native American sounding chants as I called in the sacred singers. After some time of chanting, perhaps and hour or so, I began to hear all kinds of native singers and chants. I heard other drummers, and I could see beyond the dome. I could see a group of Native Council members taking their places at the 12 stations on the medicine wheel. There was a fire burning in the center of it. And there were circles beyond circles of native americans joining them, drumming and chanting. I was told I could be present at the council powwow, but I had to stay in the dome and continue drumming. And I did.

Finally, I was asked what I wanted to know, and I asked, should I follow the native path, learn the traditions and teach others? I was told that I am not on the native path, the red path, this life, and that I should return to the city. My purpose was to be a bridge between the modern world of technology and the many different spiritual paths. That I am not on any of the ancient paths, but creating my own path from all that I have learned through many lifetimes. That I am to hold a vision for what a future world can be, with compassion, love, joy, creation, and healing. That I am a creator, and I should share what I know through my writing. That I am a teacher who will help shape the next world, and that it is very important that I stay true to what I know in my heart.

I gazed at the stars through the hole in  my roof, and I fell into a deep and dreamless sleep. I awoke to a bluebird flying around and around my dome tweeting loudly and continuously, like it was my alarm clock. I could see it pass over my dome over and over, non-stop twittering. "Ok, ok," I said, "I'm up." It flew off in acknowledgement. I drank some water, crawled out into the bright morning light, took a few deep breaths of the pure, mountain air and went for a walk around the grounds, remembering the eventful night.

I knew Connie would be coming soon to pick me up, so I went into the dome to put everything back in my bag. There on my blanket was a cobalt blue spray bottle labeled Essence of Isis and Ra. I sprayed it all over me and breathed in the refreshing and intoxicating fragrance. I knew I had not brought that with me. I didn't even own that particular essence, but I knew the woman who made them. When Connie picked me up where she dropped me off, I showed her the bottle and said we should go visit Catherine, who makes the essences. She invited us in for a cup of tea, and I showed her the bottle and said it had appeared in my dome during my Vision Quest. She said, "Oh, I wondered where that went. I just made it last night. It must be what you need right now. These essences often have a life of their own. Keep it." So I did.

[P.S. - I returned to the vision quest location a year later, and all the domes had been demolished by bears. Eeek!]