Locked in Lack?

Confirmations for Money, Abundance and Joy

May 24, 2008 – by Sandy Penny – sandy@writingmuse.com

Are you locked in lack?

Why do so many wonderful, spiritual people live in lack? The test of whether you are locked in lack is this, do you have everything you truly desire? I’ve considered that question so often for myself, and I’ve come to one pretty clear conclusion. Most of us have old programming that limits us.

I know I’ve had a lot to overcome. I grew up in a family of 10 children, living in a government housing project in a really poor neighborhood in a really poor area of the Midwest . Some old tapes: “No one gets out of the projects.” “A welfare child is a welfare parent.” “Born poor, poor for life.” “Poor people are lazy.” I was immersed in poverty, and it has been a challenge to overcome and move into abundance. Think about the concepts that may be keeping you from your abundance. The first one is thinking that you’re poor, accepting the label.

Have you ever had any of these thoughts or others that are similar?

Rich people are too snooty and self-centered. (Why would you want to be one of them?)
Money is the root of all evil. (Who wants to be evil?)
Spiritual people don’t care anything about money. (If you care about money, you must not be spiritual?)

Truly spiritual people take a vow of poverty. (If you have too many things, you’re not spiritual?)

Poor people are the salt of the earth. (Poor is good? Everyone wants to be good.)

I don’t deserve to be abundant when people are starving. (That’s a biggy in our culture.)

If I’m abundant, if I take too much, someone else suffers. (Fear and lack and self judgment.)

I’m not smart enough or good enough to deserve wealth. (Another big one, low self esteem.)

I’m not as smart as my parents, so how can I exceed their wealth? (A huge internal conflict trying to live up to someone else’s negative expectations.)

Do you think you’re better than those you grew up with? (Guilt trip deluxe. Most of us want to fit in.)

What makes you think you deserve to be rich? (Low self-esteem masquerading as humility.)

Everybody’s having trouble right now. (Getting trapped in the group consciousness. again trying to fit in.)

It’s useless, nothing I do seems to change this. (Stuck in old patterns. This is a very negative proclamation.)

You have to work hard and scratch a living out of this world. (Old tapes, old paradigm.)

It’s only worth it if it was hard to come by. (Ease and flow is a better measure of worth.)

I couldn’t possibly take that gift you want to give me. (Lack masquerading as pride.)

I can’t change who I am, and nothing I do succeeds. (Defeatist cop-out on your Self, sets you up to fail.)

I can’t change the world, it’s too overwhelming and I’m just one person. (Acceptance of your defeat, victim consciousness.)

If God wanted me to be wealthy, He would just give me lots of money or I’d win the lottery. (Absolves you of any responsibility to do anything for yourself. Accepts your lot in life.)

What are your limiting beliefs? (Make a list so you can counter them and burn the list.)

First, I want to say that I’m not in judgment of any of these beliefs if you truly accept and love your life the way it is. These comments are for those who say they want to change their financial situation. You may not even consciously believe your limiting programming, but you may have been subconsciously programmed by your family, church or surroundings. It’s up to you to choose change, to engage what you want to live with and how you want to live in this world.

Ask yourself these questions…

What did my parents say about money or wealth? What was I told about my deservedness? What was I told about my worth? What was the general financial status of those with whom I grew up? What’s the worst thing anyone ever said to me?

These beliefs are deeply ingrained, and may even have been imprinted on you before you were born through the financial stress of your parents. You did not have to be born into poverty or even live in poverty to have a poverty consciousness. Many wealthy people have poverty consciousness in the form of fear of losing their wealth or not trusting people who may steal their money or possessions. The also may lack a sense of self worth. They may even try to hide that lack behind layers of loot.

I think it was Joe Vitale (of the Secret film and long-time friend) who recently asked the question, “Would you go to a movie you hated 1000 times?” Of course not, that would be silly, but when someone says something negative to us about us, we repeat it thousands of times, watching that bad movie in our heads over and over. Is that a good thing? Not so much, and we pay a high price for watching that movie. Give yourself a break and turn off that stupid negative projection that keeps playing itself on auto pilot. How? Read on…

Again - You might want to make a list of the thoughts you have from time to time about money, wealth or the wealthy and then create counteracting confirmations to reprogram yourself. It takes awareness and mindfulness to recognize, admit and overcome financially limiting beliefs. Being defensive and denying that you have them can keep you locked into lack. Now is the time to transcend the issues of the first chakra (survival issues and group consciousness issues, family, church and society).

In order to move into happy healthy relationships (second chakra and heart chakra - love), we have to resolve our first chakra and solar plexus issues (fears of survival and fears of others). Just because something is happening in the general public does not make it a truth, a rule or a law for you. It’s all subjective, and you have to claim your own self-worth and value the contribution you make to this world.

Here’s one that may floor you and be hard to accept… The world DOES owe you a living. If you are here on this planet, this world is what you have to work with. It’s what we have to live from, and you were put here for a purpose, so the world owes us a living just for being here, for just showing up. We now have to figure out how to collect on that debt. There is plenty for us all. We are not taking anything away from anyone else if we are abundant. In fact, the more we have, the more we can share, and the more others become abundant by our example. It’s like the potato chip commercial: eat all you want, we’ll make more. For the conservationists out there, I’m not saying to overindulge in everything. I am saying to pay attention to what you really want and know that having it is OK.

Changing Your Money Karma

Your money karma is determined by what you came here to experience and overcome. All karmic issues offer us the opportunity to overcome them, integrate them and transform them. It works like this, REAL life – Recognize, Experience, Accept and Love. Those are the usual stages we go through if we’re living a REAL life, a conscious spiritual life. Anything less is simply not real, it’s subjective, and everything subjective can be changed. I have an article on REAL life for any who want to request a copy. I’ll email it to you.

Since so many spiritual people have dealt with lack recently, I decided to write and record these confirmations. You can say them yourself, and you can listen to them on your computer whenever you want to. Just play them as often as you feel lack. If you don’t like mine, record your own. It’s easy to do. I am also including some releases for things that may be preventing you from having what you want and need. Some critics say there is too much focus in the “spiritual” community on money, but the real truth is that this is a limiting belief, and it’s time to transcend lack that keeps us locked into poverty or just getting by. When we have plenty, we can easily share with those who are still caught in lack and begin to help them move out of poverty consciousness into their true abundance and joy.

I repeat these confirmations three times in three different ways because that is the minimum it takes to get through to your subconscious. Now, this is new information from my guides - there are three aspects of each confirmation: a statement of being, a love of that state and gratitude for the results. I’ve been using the word confirmation where many people would use affirmation. What’s the difference?

According to Dictionary.com:

Confirmation: an established truth, accuracy, validity or genuineness; corroborated, verified. To acknowledge with definite assurance. To make valid or binding by some formal or legal act, to sanction or ratify. To make firm or more firm, to add strength to. To strengthen a habit, resolution or opinion. To administer a sacred rite.

Affirmation: The assertion that something exists or is true. A statement or proposition that is declared to be true. Validity of a prior judgment or decision.

A positive statement as if it is true. To uphold or support. To express agreement to.

Which one sounds stronger, more certain and more real? The difference in a confirmation and an affirmation is simply this: a confirmation has three parts, an assertion, an acceptance and gratitude.

You can repeat confirmations as many times as you like, there are no negative side effects. So, for your highest and best good, I give you these confirmations for abundance, prosperity, joy and love…

I release any limiting beliefs within my body, mind and emotions.

I love the freedom of abundant wealth and joy.

I am grateful for the freedom of my abundant wealth and joy.

I always have more than enough.

I love having more than enough.

I am grateful to have more than enough.

I am a money magnet.

I love being a money magnet.

I am grateful to be a money magnet.

I am generous with my wealth.

I love being generous.

I am grateful to have enough wealth to share.

I am healthy, wealthy, compassionate and wise.

I love being healthy, wealthy, compassionate and wise.

I am grateful for my health, wealth, compassion and wisdom.

I am the essence of joy manifest in this world.

I love being joyful.

I am grateful for my abundant joy.

Love flows freely to and from me.

I love the flow of love in my life.

I am grateful for my abundant fountain of love.

I have all the time, money and energy to do whatever brings me joy.

I love having all the time, money and energy to do whatever brings me joy.

I am grateful for all the time, money and energy that bring me abundant joy.

Everywhere I go and everything I do creates money and joy.

I love creating money and joy.

I am grateful for the money and joy in my life.

I live in a positive flow of love, joy and abundance.

I love living in the positive flow of love, joy and abundance.

I am grateful for the positive flow of love, joy and abundance in my life.

I am a gift to this world and I deserve prosperity, love and joy.

I love being a gift to this world and the prosperity, love and joy that is my heritage.

I am grateful for the gift that I am, the gifts that I have and the gifts I give to the world.

I share all that I am and all that I have.

I love sharing all that I am and all that I have.

I am really grateful for the joy of sharing all that I am and all that I have.

I radiate love, joy and abundance of all good things.

I love radiating love, joy and abundance of all good things.

I am grateful to be a radiant, loving, joyful and abundant presence on this planet.

I am surrounded by loving, supportive people who help me accomplish my goals.

I love all the loving supportive people who help me accomplish my goals.

I am grateful to all the loving supportive people who help me accomplish my goals.

Money rushes to me in all forms from all directions in unexpected and delightful ways.

I love that money rushes to me in all forms from all directions in unexpected and delightful ways.

I am grateful for all the money that rushes to me in all forms from all directions in unexpected and delightful ways.

I am rich.

I love being rich.

I am grateful for all my riches.

I am a divine conduit of unconditional love.

I love sharing my unconditional love.

I am grateful for all the unconditional love in my life.

I celebrate life and see the joy in every experience.

I love joyful celebration.

I am grateful for all my joyful celebrations of life.

I am in love, living in the midst of love and joy.

I love being in love and living in the midst of love and joy.

I am grateful to be in love and living in the midst of love and joy.

Everything good that I think, say and live manifests abundantly.

I love experiencing everything good that I think, say and live as it manifests abundantly.

I am grateful that everything good that I think, say and live manifests abundantly.

I invoke my highest and best good and the highest and best good of everyone in my life.

I love my highest and best good and the highest and best good of everyone in my life.

I am so grateful for my highest and best good and the highest and best good of everyone in my life.

All my relationships are based in love and joy.

I love my relationships that are based in love and joy.

I am really grateful that all my relationships are based in love and joy.

I declare what I want.

I accept what I receive.

I love what manifests.

I am grateful for all that I declare, accept and love.

And so it is.

I love it all.

Thanks to me.

Thanks to you.

Thanks to the planet for the stage on which we live and move and have our being.

Thanks to the Universe for the methods of manifestation.

And, thanks to the one power who creates it all and holds open the doors for the abundant flow of love, joy and prosperity.

And so it is. And so it ever shall be. And I am truly grateful.

Our Spiritual Journey

5/10/2008 - Our spiritual journey…by Sandy Penny

For the past couple of years, many of us have been re-immersed in the physical world in an attempt to clear and release lifetimes of karma. Many of our friends have fallen away as we shifted and changed and lost patience with old vibrations. Relationships may have come apart as we outgrew the patterns that brought us together. Some of us fell into worse patterns than we were used to experiencing as we dug deep into our hidden issues to heal and move forward. Many who were dedicated to their own growth suddenly became tired of processing as they turned their commitment to creating a more joyful life. Those who had been healers changed their paths as their vibrations reached a level where they no longer wanted to be held in lower vibrations. All this is part of the ascension process.

Check out www.whatsuponplanetearth.com. It has a list of ascension symptoms and other good information about the shifts and changes on the planet and within us. It’s very helpful to know that we’re not experiencing these physical, mental and emotional symptoms alone. The important thing is to let the changes occur, to cooperate with them and avoid descending into fears that will slow your progress. When physical symptoms occur, and you visit the doctor and the doctor does not find anything, let it be. Don’t fall into wondering if it’s something terrible that was missed. The power of your creativity right now is so great that you can create what you fear quickly. It’s very important to develop patterns of positivity now, more than ever before.

Katherine, my spiritual teacher who is now on the other side used to say that the reason we do not have more free time is that we don’t know how to use it well. She said when we learn how to use our free time that we will no longer have to work in jobs we hate just to keep us out of trouble. She recommended studying something we enjoy learning and using our free time to better ourselves mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Even the marketplace now says that we have to be lifetime learners to be successful in the future.

It’s time to stop doing the things that don’t bring us joy. It’s time to find what does bring us joy and to give all our attention to it. Joy is the reward for finding our true life path. Stop finding reasons why you can’t do what brings you joy and just do it. When you make a true inner commitment, the universe will support you in it. If that’s not happening for you, you have to take a deeper look at the thought patterns and body memories that are holding you back. What’s holding you back from doing what you love? Now is the time to let go of your fears, your projections, your old patterns and start moving toward joy. The world needs your positive energy to feed the group consciousness so we can make the leap forward that we all want.

Today I shall Eat Strawberries...

Today I Shall Eat Strawberries

by Sandy Penny

For the last week, for breakfast, I’ve been eating toast with peanut butter and banana. It’s a favorite of mine as a vegetarian breakfast, but today I woke up with a thought.
That thought was, “Today I shall eat strawberries.” I have a pint of strawberries in my refrigerator, and I’ve looked at them every day, and I haven’t felt as drawn to them as I did when I bought them. But this morning, something in me said, “It’s time to eat strawberries.”

Since I try to look at the larger meaning in all my thoughts, especially those early morning messages, I meditated and used that phrase as a seed thought, today I shall eat strawberries. Some very interesting things came to me.

*Today I shall make a change, not a big change, but an obvious one.

*Today I shall focus on red instead of yellow, get out of my mind in into my body. And perhaps this was my body’s message of what it needs.

*Today I shall have a little more tartness in my life. Sometimes we focus too much on the sweetness, and we have to balance that out with a little more tangy energy. That tang can help us move out of lethargy into a new comfort zone.

*Also, banana is considered a masculine symbol because of its shape. Strawberries are considered feminine, food of the goddess. Perhaps I’m shifting from my masculine more into my feminine side today.

I haven’t eaten my strawberries yet because I wanted to share this meditation with you. I did make coffee, as I have all week, and it tastes terrible to me. I like coffee, and it’s the same coffee I’ve been making, and the same creamer, but today I don’t like it. Something has definitely changed. I like that, actually. I can use a change. I think I'll have a cup of tea.

So far, my year has included quite a bit of change for a small town girl. I was managing Santiago’s Gallery, and for about three weeks, I was getting a message that I was not going to be there for long, that I had done all I could, and it was time to go. I wasn’t sure where I’d go. A couple of weeks after I first got that message, I had a phone call from an editor at the Taos News. She said they had lost a couple of freelancers and asked to see my samples. After reviewing them, we had a meeting where she gave me seven assignments to do. I was a little overwhelmed. Working full time at the gallery and doing this much writing would be difficult, but I was determined to get it done and start building my writing in Taos.

A week after beginning these articles, one day, at Santiago’s Gallery, I was sitting at the desk when Santiago and his brother Charlie came in. They said they were closing the gallery, that it was not showing signs of making a profit or building sales, so it was time to shut it down. I was a little shocked since they had opened in the late fall when they knew that spring, summer and fall are the art season here. We had even discussed that, and they had decided to do all the start up in the winter so it would be ready for action by spring. Here it was, just about a month from the spring season, and they were quitting. I would have protested more than I did, but having had the messages about it being time to go, I knew I was done.

I also knew that the Taos News work was not enough to support me yet and that I would need something else. I got a couple of week’s severance pay, so I could figure something out. During these two weeks, I got an email from Dr. John Lerma, author of “Into the Light” which I ghost wrote for him. He asked me to do another book project, and I accepted. That upfront money helped me through the last couple of months.

The angel doctor has been pretty busy, so we haven’t worked much on the book yet, but last week, my editor at Taos News called and begged me to take on three articles for the summer guide here that are due next week. I accepted. I could use the money, and the subjects were fun for me. One was about the farmers markets and a sidebar on restaurants that buy local organic produce, a subject close to me heart. The second was about the art colony that is Taos. The third was about the community kitchen and garden here. There’s so much here that is creating community and creativity and personal expression. Well, the sidebar on the Glorious Green restaurants has now turned into a full-length article, so that’s helpful too. And, all this writing is in keeping with my mission to support myself with spiritual writing. This is all about the spirit of Taos, and the people who live here.

I am affirming another long-term project to begin in the next couple of weeks, so please put some energy into that for me. Please see me happily writing, researching and being paid well for a wonderful spiritual writing project with loving supportive people.

Let me know what you’d like me to see for you. I spend a lot of time every night focusing on what my friends and acquaintances are affirming in their lives. I also love to hear about the changes occurring for all of you. And, I got quite a few new subscriptions to my newsletter after the last issue. That was nice. Welcome to all the newbies and thanks to all of you who have stuck around when I was not sending out regular emails.

Let me hear from you, and feel free to pass this along to anyone you want.

Now, I shall eat my strawberries.

Peace, love and joy to you all.

Just Another Day in Paradise ... Hanging at the Hot Springs

On March 21, 2008, we celebrated Yoga Jane's 50th birthday at Ojo Caliente Hot Springs. It was lovely. These are some of my lovely women friends in Taos. Aren't they great? It reminded me of another memorable hot springs adventure ... see below the photos.



Above, Yoga Jane, Birthday Girl - beautiful at 50.


Me in the background soaking with my home girls.


More me and my home girls.


Below: Deep soaking, ahhh.


Above: The other Sandy in the deep pool.

Below: The evening party continues at
Sabroso Restaurant in the mountains...


Above: Two Sandys


Above: Elizabeth on the left, Birthday Jane on the Right


Above: A little too much wine at Sabroso.

---

Hanging at the Hot Springs…

After an exceptionally cold winter in Taos, the snow is finally melting, and I feel spring’s rapid approach. The sun warms me as I lounge at Mondo Kultur café and sip a double mocha latte while I conduct a psychic reading for a friend. I am unusually tuned in, and the camaraderie of the spiritual process inspires me to drive into the mountains north of Taos. I hop in my little red Mazda Protege, pop into Cyd’s health food store and buy a few picnic items for my little journey. Smoky gouda, ripe edam, 9 grain bread, organic bananas and spicy ginger beer fill my goody basket. I head up Highway 522 toward Questa, intent on enjoying the sunny afternoon with a drive around the 100 mile Enchanted Circle through Red River, Eagle’s Nest, Angel Fire and back through Taos Canyon. When I reach Questa about 30 minutes later, I spontaneously decide to drive up to Valley View, a beautiful hot springs area three hours north, along Colorado Rt 17.

I don my movie star sunglasses, tune in a rousing radio station and sing along as I glide down the winding road. “They say I have to go to Rehab, and I say No. No, No.” I grab my cell phone and realize I haven’t programmed Valley View’s number into it since I changed services. Oh well, I punch in my home number, get my son on the line and ask him to look it up in the computer, call them and book me a room. He calls back in a couple of minutes and confirms a small room in the community house. The rooms are very basic, only a bed, a chair and hooks to hang your towels on, but the view out the window offers a spectacular sense of lavishness.

After a few miles of roller coaster winding up and down, the road flattens out all the way to San Luis, about 50 miles of fast driving, open range with herds of cows, buffalo and elk curiously staring at me as I fly by. I pass the time talking on the phone with my friend Sue in Houston, laughing about my spontaneous jaunt and listening to her political banter. San Luis is an interesting little town with a mountain shrine that attracts tourists and devout Catholics, but I don’t stop. The road ends at Ft. Garland, Colorado, and you have to turn left or right. I make the left without stopping and head toward Alamosa, about half-way to my destination. Instead of going all the way into Alamosa, I turn right at Rt 150 and head toward the Great Sand Dunes National Park. The spectacular view of the giant sand dunes looms in front of me. They form where the mountains rise up and collect the sand and silt that blow through the high desert countryside. It’s kind of amazing. The dunes resemble pyramids, and for a moment I forget I’m in Colorado and daydream about Egypt. I stop at the park’s visitor center for a restroom and leg-stretching break. Absorbing the unusual vista, I snap a picture with my cell phone to document it for my friends.

I have to backtrack a mile or so to the cutoff that takes me westward to Mosca through the lakes of the dunes. It’s very remote, and radio reception is nil. I notice that not only is my reception temporarily gone, but I’m rapidly losing power. So much for being spontaneous. I would soon have no phone at all as I left my phone charger at home, and I have not yet bought a car charger for my new phone. Oh well, guess I’m meant to be incommunicado. The important thing is that my son knows where I am. Nothing can spoil my good mood, the joyful sense of adventure, and the peaceful quiet of the deserted road. I let a few friends know that I’ll be gone for a day or two and that I may not have phone service. I am so ready to concentrate on me for a change.

I spend the rest of the trip just watching the snow frosted mountains move closer and closer. A wave of awe sweeps through me as I connect deeply with the earth and the beauty. The clear blue sky is dotted with ship clouds, often seen in this part of the country. They are white fluffy low-riding clouds that seem to go the opposite direction of the higher wispier ones. They are rounded and flat on the edges and resemble the small runabout ships that fly out of mother ships in so many sci-fi movies. The scene is surreal with the landscape still snowy white with watery patches. It looks like an aerial view of Alaska as glacier-like fields spread for miles and miles in all directions.

Soon I reach the meeting point of Highways 285 and 17 and County Road GG. It was a fast three hours. I pass my cutoff to drive a few miles further to Villa Grove to pick up a bottle of wine as there is no restaurant or liquor store at the springs. What you take with you is what you have to eat and drink. I walk in, ring the bell to be let into the small establishment, and a slightly suspicious looking man unlocks the door. Not much selection in wine, so I grab a bottle of Canadian Whiskey to mix with my ginger ale and stand at the counter until the attendant returns from watching TV in the back room. I hand him my debit card, and he curtly says, “Sorry, cash only.” I ask if there’s an ATM at the restaurant across the street, and he says, “Nope, closest one is in Salida, 25 miles ahead.” Ahh, the joys of small towns. Tired of driving, I leave the bottle of liquor and head back to GG and start driving up the mountain on the dirt road. I see a muddy wash ahead, and I debate whether my little Protégé can make it through without getting stuck. I decide to go for it, so I rev up my speed a little to power through. I fear I might slide off the road. My stomach does little flip flops as I skid sideways but regain control quickly and make it past the first challenge. I wonder if more washes are up ahead, and I resolve to go back on another road that should be less hazardous and stressful. It turns out that the rest of the road is just fine, no ice, no water, no big ruts, just a washboard that I can handle.

Seven miles down the road and up the mountain, I come to the junction where I have to cross a cattle guard where I turn left and enter the Orient Land Trust. Almost there. The Trust is a non-profit organization that owns Valley View and is dedicated to keeping it natural and buying surrounding land to ensure that it will stay that way. Nothing needs to interfere with the magnificent Valley Views. I slide into the parking area facing a wall of snow and breathe a sigh of relief as I cut my engine. Trudging into the office, I pay for my room. Fortunately, they take my debit card for the night’s stay, the best $27 I’ve spent in a long time. I quickly head for the exit with my coin in hand to drop into the box at the gate that blocks the entrance to the springs. The arm lifts, and I feel finally at home in the land of the goddess. I only have to drive a few hundred feet to park in front of the group house. I inhale deeply as I cross the little wooden bridge over the steaming stream in front of the long wooden structure. The laughing trickle of the water instantly relaxes away the stiffness of sitting for three hours. In a way, I am home. I’ve been visiting these springs for the last 15 years, and they always welcome me back.

I’m not exactly dressed for this, since I did not plan the trip. I have on jeans, a sweater and three-inch high heeled boots. I get a few knowing looks like, “You didn’t plan to come here, did you?” Apparently, it’s common for repeat visitors just to pick up and head out to the springs to alleviate stress. I carry in my food and my leopard print wrap that will be my costume for trekking to the springs. I can hardly wait to feel my weary body sink into the hot steaming pools nestled in the drifted snow around them. It has always been my dream to spend time at the springs in the winter when the contrast of the hot and cold make it deliciously inviting to soak for hours. This was my second time to fulfill that dream. Groceries safely placed on the chair, I make my bed with the clean linens stacked on the bed, strip off my sticky clothes and tie my sarong. I wish for my my flat slip-on shoes, but three-inch heels will have to do. It’s all I have. I briefly walk to the back of the building and take in my first Valley View of the stay. I deeply catch my breath at the distance and the loveliness, but the water calls me, and my body longs to float free.

It is unseasonably warm, and the lingering evening sun feels good on my bare shoulders, but the breeze is rapidly cooling. With only a short uphill walk, I am confronted by the small hot pot, the large swimming pool and the new sauna building. Both pools are thickly steaming and beckoning me to hurry into them. I decide I’m not up for swimming right now and drop my sarong on a chair and step into the hot water. It’s so hot it stings a little at first, but I know I’ll soon adjust to it and will be amazingly soothed. I twist my long blonde hair up on top of my head and secure it with a spider clip I had attached to my sarong for that purpose. Having just gotten over a cold, I don’t want to get my hair wet. I immerse myself up to my neck as two other people join me in the water. We all rest our heads on the side of the two feet deep heated soaking pool, the lobster pot and breathe deeply of the warm vapors.

At first, no one speaks as we settle in. Soon, the man who has not introduced himself begins to talk of how long he has been frequenting the springs. He says, “This time, I came because of my skin problems, psoriasis. The minerals in the water seems to help a lot.” “I know,” I respond. “My skin is always so much softer after a trip to the springs.” The woman who says her name is Katie tells him the name of a tea that will help. Apparently she is an herbologist. They continue to discuss subjects like the difference between detoxing and flushing your system. I drift away and block out the conversation as I just enjoy the soft sensuality of the water. All the dramas of my day are washed away by the water flowing through the pool as it rejoins the warm river that winds its way through the entire property. It’s as if all my cares flow away. After an hour or so, I begin to get a little overheated, so it’s time to rewrap myself and head for my little monk’s cell.

I lie down on the comfortable bed and drift into a light sleep until my bladder compels me to get dressed and head for the baths next door. There are none in this building, one of the drawbacks for me since I get up a couple of times in the night. After making my necessary trip, washing up and refilling my water bottle with the cold filtered water from the fountain in the bath house, I notice my stomach grumbling and begging for dinner. Checking my cell phone for the time, it’s about 9:00 pm so I decide to eat lightly. I slice some of the smoky gouda and slice a banana from my stash. I check the refrigerator and happily find some mayonnaise to slather on the tasty brown bread. I pop open a bottle of ginger beer and eat at the community table. Soon a group of men drift in from the springs and settle into the chairs and couches by the table. We all start to talk about where we’re from and why we’re here and what else we do in our lives. There’s a guy from Colorado Springs who works for the city. He complains that it has gotten to big, too busy and too trendy. Valley View is his respite from what used to be a small town and is now a thriving metropolis. When they ask what I do, and I say I’m a writer, they want to know what I write. When the subject of the angel book comes up, a discussion ensues where one of the men tells the story of his near-death experience. It’s a good discussion of the afterlife, death, and other spiritual experiences. I find it unusual to have such a discussion with a room full of men, and I am pleasantly impressed.

After a while, someone picks up a guitar and strums a melodic folksy tune. I retire to my room and listen to the music while I stare out the window at the star-filled sky. I soon drift away for the night until dawn’s early light when it’s time for another trip to the building next door. It’s crisp outside, and I hurry between buildings, scanning side to side for deer, bears or skunks that proliferate in the area. An uneventful trip and a refilled bottle of cold water takes me happily back to the group house. Katie, from the hot pool the night before, has started coffee and is busy making pancakes in the community kitchen. She offers me a cup of wonderful smelling brew and a pancake. My stomach urges me to accept, and I do. Unfortunately for me no one has left any creamer or milk to share, and I didn’t bring any, so I have to drink the coffee with honey only. Oh well, it still tastes delicious, and the warm cup in my cold fingers feels so good.

Katie and I sit at the dining table and chat about Taos and the springs and other light chatter when we hear the door open. Most everyone in the building has already gone to the springs for a morning soak. We are pleasantly surprised to see a very handsome, well built man wearing nothing but a royal blue Williams and Sonoma apron that shows off his muscled arms. He’s carrying a French press plunge pot of coffee. He says, “Hey, I just made this great Vietnamese coffee. I’d love to share it with you. Want some?” Katie and I looked at each other, back at him, and said in unison, “Uhhh huhhh.” It’s all we could muster in our current stunned state. We quickly finished the coffee in our cups, and he refilled them with a sweet-smelling essence of the coffee bean with a buttery nutty flavor. Then he left, and we both stared after him at some of the best breakfast buns we’ve ever seen. We both started laughing.

“Wow,” I said, “When does this happen in real life? Are you sure we’re not dreaming?” “If we are,” she responded, “we’re having the same delicious dream.” “I want to affirm more of this in my life,” I smiled, “Men dressed in nothing but an apron, who can cook, who have an appreciation for the subtlety of good coffee, and look great doing it.” She nodded in assent as she took a deep draft of the smooth concoction. Nothing could top this as a great experience at Valley View. The huge green comet I’d seen last year paled in comparison with the implications of this little metaphor. More please, I thought wishfully. Katie and I headed to the pools for another long, leisurely soak and more conversation.

There was an inordinately large number of men out this morning, and this being a naturalist property, clothing optional, it was nice to see a range of ages stretched out on towels sunbathing, soaking and drifting back and forth to the sauna. What I love most at Valley View is the respect shown by everyone for the vulnerability of everyone brave enough to remove their clothes and share a sacred space. There’s no gawking or posturing or crossing boundaries without an invitation. It’s very refreshing to share such a place of freedom and joy in relaxation and healing.

Later in the day, Katie and I ran into our morning chef (and his wife or girlfriend) with their clothes on. I did not recognize him, and I did not correctly remember what color his apron was. Katie and I got a good laugh at that. We returned to the building and pooled our food for a picnic on the porch. I sat in a swing, and she sat on the bench across from me. Two of the men who had also been at the springs, who turned out to be brothers, came in, and we invited them to join us for food. They added some sesame seeds to the cheese, bread, fruit, ginger beer, artichoke hearts and Indian Samosas for a quick outdoor feast. It was so pleasant just to enjoy the scenery and hang out at the hot springs.

Katie and I were both leaving, so we had to pack up our things. When we finished packing and were chatting on the porch, our chef returned in his apron and invited us to join him and his wife for lunch. We both regretted that we had already eaten. Just watching him cook would have been the best entertainment we could find, but it was time to go. Sometimes, trying to repeat a pleasurable experience just negates it. I wanted to hold the fond memory in my mind just the way it had happened. Nothing needed to be added. It was perfect, and it was time to go.

I slowly, reluctantly, climbed back into my little Protégé, said goodbye to my temporary friends and the lovely land. I thanked the earth for its beautiful blessings and drove back to the office to check out. They have to know who’s in the park, in case of sudden storms or bear alerts. I stayed long enough to check my email and let my friends and my son know I was heading back. My cell phone had long since lost its charge. Now I would have a wonderful three hours driving back with nothing but my memories, my thoughts of the future, and the beautiful scenery to enjoy. I can’t tell you how refreshed, revitalized and rejuvenated I felt. I could face anything from this place of strength and vitality. And so I headed back to Taos. * * *

What did I do with 2007?

Wow, what a question. I can hardly remember. The two years I've been in Taos have really run together. But I'll give it a go to catch you up since I have not posted anything but my recent photos on this site since March 2006.

In October, 2006, I finished my work with Dr. Lerma's stories of people who see angels when they're dying. I then went to work at the front desk for Quality Inn to pay the bills for a while and to consider what's next.

I was also engaged in a big learning relationship with a man in Taos. It took a lot of my time and energy and helped me sort out some childhood issues about my father. However, it is over now.

In January 2007, I went to work for Taos Inn at their front desk. It was very challenging for me, and I left there in July and went back to Houston for a month to rethink my life and whether I wanted to be in Taos. The answer was a resounding yes, so I came back.

I lived for a month with my friend Elizabeth while I got things going again. Then I was asked to manage Santiago's Gallery by my friend and fellow writer, Ron Chavez. While I was in Houston, I had speculated about working at a gallery when I got back to Taos. And, from the first time I met Ron, I knew I would help him market his writing. I had not even read it, but I knew it.

I spent six months working the gallery and writing pr and web content for Ron's book and Santiago's palette knife art. I also helped with the final edits on Ron's book, "Time of Triumph." My article about Ron and his life as a Route 66 icon was just published by Route 66 Magazine this month in their spring issue. The title of the article is "Fat Man and the Phoenix." As soon as I scan it, I'll post it here.

That brings us up to date and answers the question of what happened to 2007? Glad it's over, actually. I'm ready for 2008 and lots of newness.

------

So long I've been immersed without a word to most of you. My two years in Taos have been powerful personal growth years. I've been learning much about myself in relationships. I've been learning more about how to avoid pitfalls and energy traps, mostly by falling into them and having to extricate myself afterward.

Last years, 2007, was a 9 universal year, a year of endings, completions, decisions about what you want and don't want in your life.

2008 is a universal 1 year. It is about new beginnings, fresh starts, new perspectives and fast track realizations. It is about making commitments that will last for the next 10 years. But, don't despair if new things come and go a bit, clarity does not come in a minute. But, by the end of this year, you will be much clearer about the track you're on.

Most of all, a 1 year is about focusing on yourself, your own healing, your own joy, your own success. It's time to pull your energy back into your own personal creation.

Spirit wants me to remind you that all that you intended to be and do is built into your body. There are time release bubbles within you that open when you're ready for them. There are old body memories that require release and hopefully you did a lot of that work last year.

No matter what the challenges are in your life, you have all the tools within you to meet them, complete them and exceed your wildest expectations. You are no longer fighting the endings that were forcing themselves on you last year. You can now take a deep breath, relax and refocus. There is love, power and joy inside you when you go deeper into your own inner universe and touch base with all that is YOU.

Oneness is the path this year. Recognize how strong you are, what you have survived, and use that energy now to thrive. I ask you again to ask yourself, "what do I love to do?" There is an answer to that question, but don't try to make it up, just ask it over and over and let the answers bubble up from your eternal well of creativity. The first few answers may be surface answers or society's expectations of you, but as you keep asking, new information will arise. The answers may surprise you, or they may remind you of what was there all along. Then, as a new friend of mine said, make a decision based on what bubbles up and feels powerful.

Get a loving friend to listen to the answers as they bubble up. Have them observe what lights you up. Remember, just because you can do something doesn't mean that's what you would "love" to do. You might have to learn a new skill, develop a new talent, get a new job, build a new business. But, if it's truly what you would "love" to do, it will not feel like work. It will bring you such joy that you will relish every moment pursuing it.

Since I've been in Taos, I have not done readings or counseling because I knew I needed to work on my own hidden agendas that were keeping me from my highest and best good and all my heart's and soul's desires. I've been taking the scenic route to do it, but many realizations have surfaced, and I'm now back in forward motion. I still don't feel the need to counsel others. I do feel the need to empower and re-empower them to work on their own issues and follow their bliss. I want playmates that are committed to being their own personal best. It's such a joy to have them in my life.

I have one such playmate in Taos. Her name is Elizabeth. She is an artist and a jazz singer, and she does both really well. And, she is so committed to her own growth. We have wonderful conversations, deep and connected and revealing and honest. I value that so much. And, she has good boundaries, and when mine slip too much, she reminds me that I need to take care of Sandy. I want to remind you all that you need to take care of yourself first and foremost. Then you will have the energy to share with others.

And, I remind you that connecting through joy instead of pain is the way to build a life for the future. Those that you connect with through pain will eventually grow away from you or you will grow away from them. When you move into your own joy, it will be almost intolerable to be with the pain of others. It's so easy to get stuck in pain and challenge, and not so easy to move beyond it, especially if you have surrounded yourself with people in pain. I believe this year will offer great joy to those who choose it, focus on it, work toward it and stay with it. Surround yourself with loving, supportive and joyful people.

This is also a year for reestablishing practices that support you. Whatever that is for you. For me, it is meditating, contemplating and writing. What is it for you? Yoga, Tai Chi, dancing, laughing, having parties? WHAT do you LOVE to do? What makes you feel strong, happy and supported? Do it, do it often, do it more. Embrace it.

Well, that's enough for now. It is my intention to share more this year. I hope you're all out there and still wanting to hear from me. I know I want to hear from you.

Also, I just signed up as a writing expert on www.selfgrowth.com. Check it out for your own services that you offer. I like it.

Have a great 2008 and wonderful new beginnings.

Take a Deep Breath and Have a Wonderful Year!

Merry Christmas from Taos, NM, Let it Snow, let it snow, let it snow

Christmas Sky and snow. See the angel in the clouds?
A road I drive down every day.

View from my back window.

My front yard.

Fairy Land.

Next door neighbors
My other neighbors
Next door to me.
The path to my little casita. I swept it clear with little broom.
Through my main window.

Mountains in the mist
Another mountain view from Pizanos, my favorite pizza place.
Piled up. No day for a picnic. Outdoors at Pizanos.
Amazing blue light of Taos.
Adobe wonderland.

Snowy photos in Taos NM, my new home

Snow People.
Snowing as I drive.
View past my little plant nursery.
My front yard natural Christmas Tree.
Local burger joint, Lottaburger, The truck on the right is a RAC transport truck


Michael and Steven's little casita.

The official Christmas tree of Taos Plaza.
The path from my little casita toward the road.

View from the muddy road.
Crysal forest.
Horses grazing
The Taos Plaza Wreath at the Bataan Death March memorial.
Frozen antiques.

This is my life in Taos, and I thought I'd share my photos with you... Hope you enjoyed them.

Love to all, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Lost in the White Out (March 2006)

I can hardly believe it has been a month since my last update, and so much has happened in that month that I can hardly believe it has only been a month. The experience of time being compressed and expanded at the same time has been a subject of discussion among my compadres, and I wonder how much you all out there are experiencing it. It almost has a sense of vertigo attached to it, like you can't tell what's up from what's down right now as it keeps rotating and flipping the energy.

The day after I wrote my last update, I got a confirmation that I needed to go back to Houston to finish a project I was working on and to meet someone I might do a big spiritual writing project with. After spending Valentine's Day at Valley View Hot Springs, one of my favorite feminine places on the planet, I passed through Crestone, CO, one of the most spiritual places on the planet, and met a woman named Electrum who owns the Shambala Cafe, and who needs a website to promote her whole Shambala Project (more on that later), ad I told her I'd come back after my trip to Houston and do that for her.

So, I departed Taos and Red River where I had been staying for three weeks after the Santa Fe Conference I attended and headed back to Houston. I did not take the scenic route this time. I took the fast route, and it was long, straight and boring, so I drove all night and arrived in Houston 20 hours later.

I had some very interesting things happen on the drive. Late at night, I passed through San Angelo, and as I topped a rise in the landscape, I could see a huge red, glowing circle up ahead. In my driving exhaustion stupor, I could not figure out what it was, but on getting closer, I discovered that large circular grove of trees was on fire. It was a spectacular blaze with coals flying everywhere in the high winds. I was mesmerized by the fire and could not understand how it could be so completely circular. It held the energy of a sacred sacrifice, and I honored the trees that shared their lives with us through food and then sacrificed themselves to the Winds of Change. It was a powerful experience.

Right after that, I took a wrong turn and ended up driving through a huge wind farm with about a thousand propeller turbines generating electricity. Each turbine had a blinking light on it to warn airplanes of its location, and they were not synchronized, so the experience of a thousand blinking lights in the middle of the night was somewhat psychedelic. I felt like I had been abducted and dropped in the middle of some crazy vision, but I was not sleeping, although I probably should have been. It was about 2:22 am at the time, and I had a hard time finding my way out of the maze, but I left it to Spirit and got back on track.

Trying to integrate that part of the experience, I felt like the Aquarian Age energy was asserting itself and showing me a metaphor for the process we're in right now. Everyone is somewhat confused, but mesmerized by the changes that are occurring, and yet, Spirit is still guiding us, and we will come out the other side with a sense of wonder, accomplishment and new energy when we have experienced, rested and assimilated the changes.

I spent two weeks in Houston, and I made the connection with Dr. Johnnie Lerma, a hospice doctor at Houston Hospice who is in the process of writing a book about people who have seen angels at the hospice as they exit. It's a wonderful and exciting project, and after meeting with him, we agreed to work on the book with me as the ghost writer for him. He tells me the stories, and I record them and then rewrite them as if he is telling the story. The angels got on board with me too, and when I wrote the first story, they gave me details that Johnnie had left out that needed to be in the story. It was very exciting. Also, Johnnie had been pretold that he would work with a woman who was living in New Mexico on this book, and that is where I was when our mutual friend, Claire, put us together. I am happily ensconced in writing this angel book now, and I can travel as much as I want and work with him over the phone. I bought this great little digital recorder that hols eight hours of voice discussions, so I use that to record the info, and then I just dump it into my computer and do the writing. The book should be ready for publishing in three months, and we have some very powerful connections for a publisher and agent for it. I affirmed that I wanted spiritual writing projects to fund this journey, and now they are coming in right and left. All in Divine Order. It is an exciting time for me.

After I left Houston, I went back to New Mexico to Red River for a week, then I knew I needed to go on up to Crestone to get the Shambala web project going. I rented a little room at Valley View where I could have access to the six beautiful hot pools while I wrote and made my Crestone connections. The night after I arrived, it began to snow, and I had always wanted to be in the steaming outdoor hot pools when it was snowy. It was a fire and ice experience as my hair frosted over with ice while I was warm and nurtured by the hot waters. There has been a great deal of polarity on this journey, and I'm sure many of you are facing your own black and white choices these days. Even the mountains look black and white once the snow coats them and the clouds shadow the rest of land that is not covered in white. I hope you all are noting the metaphors and images that are being shared with me by Spirit as I travel.

After a week at Valley View, I knew I needed to go back to Albuquerque to do some work with my friend Tom, so I set out last Sunday heading south, out of the cold weather, I thought. I hit a freak snow storm as I exited Colorado and got into New Mexico. I had spent two weeks drumming for snow for Red River's ski economy and for the other ski places in NM, and it finally hit with a vengeance. I could not believe it when I heard on the radio that a week of snow storms had dropped 28 to 32 inches in Red River.

Unfortunately for me, I was driving when one of the storms hit, and it was more than a little frightening. My little Mazda Protege is not equipped to handle heavy snow conditions, and at times the winds were so strong they blew me almost off the road. When I steered in the direction of the high winds, it would drop, and I skidded dangerously in the other direction. I was in white-out conditions for a while where you can see nothing except, if you're lucky, tracks on the road from previous cars traveling through the snow. You can't see the edge of the road or the center line, and there is no way to tell how deep the drops are off the edge of the road. I have to say it was the worst day on this journey for feeling out of control and in dangerous territory. I had no cell reception, and no radio broadcasts. It was just me, God and the angels of protection riding together that morning. I finally inched my way to Tres Piedres, the cutoff for Taos and I took it, hoping it was passable, but knowing at least I was headed toward civilization again. I recorded the journey on my little tape recorder, and you can really hear the tension in my voice. I'm not much for cold weather, and I was not equipped to trudge through deep snow in the event I left the road. Slowly, but surely, I could tell I would make it to Taos, and my friend, Madeline, who is in Houston but has a home in Taos, was happy to let me stay a few days to wait for better traveling weather.

I was able to finish some writing, and restore a friendship that needed mending while in Taos, and today I finally drove to Albuquerque, safely and with beautiful sunshine through the heavenly canyons between Taos, Santa Fe and Albuquerque. I am now happily ensconced at Tom's house with my email access restored and phone service workable.

I did several telephone readings during my journey, and some great integration work with people I met along the way. In a little place called Salida, CO, I spent time at Sacred Grounds, a cool little Internet cafe with an owner who is an angel artist. The angels are certainly on board with me during this journey, and my spiritual teacher, Kip Davidson, who is on the other side, would be proud of me for staying so connected to what he taught me.

That's all I can tell you for now. And, for a month, I think that's quite enough. I'm tired, had a 3-hour nap today, got my car serviced, and now I plan to relax after catching up on email.

Stay tuned - I'll write more soon. There will be more info about my process of sacred relationship, but I'm processing so much, I have to integrate it before I can share it.

Love, light and angel support for all.

sandy penny
sandy@writingmuse.com

----------------------------------

Journey update february 2006

Journey Update 02-14-06

Finally, an update from me. It has been an intense time with so much going on and yet, it’s a feeling that time is both compressed and expanded. Time seems to stand still for a while, then to explode with activity, guidance and movement. I’m very much forced to live in the moment.

When I last wrote, impossibly, only a month ago, I was leaving Albuquerque after completing the editing project for the TOSA group, www.selfascension.com. The book is 2012, You Have a Choice. You can order it from the website. That went well and funded the next segment of the journey. This trip was destined to be funded by spiritual writing and editing projects from the beginning, That’s the energy it was born on when I was meditating back in June and received the vision of me and my Beloved. I am happy to say that the energy continues to radiate and draw work to me.

I spent a little over a week in Santa Fe, and I attended the International Conference on Ascension, Sacred Sexuality and Shamanism. I was able to attend as a writer, and I’ll be writing later about the subject of Sacred Relationship and Sacred Partnership with all that I’ve been learning. I’m having a crash course so I’ll be ready for my Beloved.

When I left Santa Fe, I moved to Taos for a while, and I’m still there right now, but my time here is growing short. I’m waiting now for the guidance on where I need to go next. There is a possibility of making a return trip to Houston soon for a project, but that is not fully formed yet. I did get to do one major editing project while in Taos for an old client, but it’s not a spiritual writing project, it’s a training book, but it is helping support me. I am missing doing readings, integrations and healings though, and my Houston clients are calling me for appointments when I return.

The scenery up here is very inspiring to me this trip. I’ve been to Taos before, but I was somehow oblivious to the beauty of the mountains. I have driven up to Red River many times during this stay, which is an hour drive up into the Sangre de Cristo Mountains, and it looks like an old mining town. It’s one of the well-known ski areas up here, but lack of snow has made everyone’s life more challenging. Looks like the east coast is getting it all right now. I hear that there are ten men for every woman in Red River, so ladies, if you’re looking for a laid-back mountain man, take a little trip to Red River and see if you feel a connection. I had a great time going dancing the other night.

I have been exploring a relationship with a man that I initially thought might be my Beloved, but there are many issues to work out if that kind of connection is to develop, and it’s a mass of contradictions. More on that when I sort out the details.

The full moon in the mountains was exceptionally powerful for me, and my emotions all surfaced for processing. Anyone else having that experience? The energy is intense right now, and hard to pin down. It starts off in one direction and takes a decided turn just as you get your bearings. I’m dealing with my own confusion, and I continue to try a refocus so that I can gain clarity as I proceed on my journey. That’s the update for now. I will let you all know if I go back to Houston for those who are there and want to see me. I will schedule a couple of events and email invites to all the Houston crowd.

If anyone wants a telephone reading, I’m happy to arrange that if you call my cell phone, 870-656-0812 and leave a message if you don’t get me. I can also do readings by email if you have specific questions you want to address. I need support on my journey, and I’m open to whatever will do that.

If it seems like it’s a long time between updates, it’s because I’m in the middle of the process. It’s hard to write it down until I have time to stop and think about everything. Thanks for your good wishes and loving support as I go along.

Keep moving in the direction of your guidance, your passion, and your Beloved. Know that All is Well. All is Well. All is Well (the mantra for now).

Happy Valentine’s Day, love to all.

sandy penny
sandy@writingmuse.com